Heart beating fast now. Why? Was added in a chatroom that contained a person I've been trying to avoid..
Okay. Let's start it this way. The reason why I'm back in Malaysia, partially is because I wanted to see my parents. They've been worried for me for an entire year. Another main reason would be for her, to savour whatever friendship we have left. Months before I returned, I contacted her through email (started by wishing her on her birthday) and we've been emailing since. Adding her on facebook might've not been such a smart move.
Well, I thought we'd still be friends and on good terms. But after returning and a few days, I realized she deleted me on facebook. That must've been a start of something. Maybe she wanted to live her own life. To get away from the past. Which makes tons of sense. I'm the only fool here who's still waiting for something that would never happen.
Not all hope is lost. Her friend is still capable of calling her out to the park for games and stuff. So that proves that both of them are making effort for one another. Whatever happens, I'll just leave things just as it is and wish the better for the both of them. Their separation is my fault. Guilt-ridden, I'm aware I can never make any amendments for what has happened. But time heals all wounds, their friendship will return ( I believe so because I've been there ).
I'm currently at a standstill, without any ideas whether to move on or stay where I've fallen. I have yet to pick myself up, truth be told.
Therefore, I will not be returning to Malaysia the next summer. And probably the summer after. I shall stay in Australia where I've grown accustomed to the most. Friends here have been a liability. Especially her and my parents. Something that will hold me down in Malaysia.
Let's see where this year takes me. No matter where I am, how I feel...
Whoever's reading this... pls just keep this blog a secret. =)
If I could ever dedicate a song to her, it'd be Back to December - Taylor Swift.
