They may be crappy feelings. But they're real. And because of that, I know I would still go through heaven and hell just for you.

Today I woke up from a bad dream where I was next to you, and you were so sick. That you could barely talk. I was all so worried about you but your smile to me in my dreams gave me reassurance as if everything was going to be alright. I think the me in my dream almost teared.

I wish I could tell you this in real life. Cause after waking up, for half a day I had the worst heart ache ever. I know you may never want to hear from me again, so I just asked our closest mutual friend, Amanda to take care of you. I know it may seem stupid of me for worrying, and stuff. But with random premonitions coming true, I'm not taking any chances. And I don't want you to think that I'm a psycho worrying about you too much either. So, I have all my hopes on Amanda to look after you.

Also, I called my parents tonight and out of nowhere they were criticizing me about the relationship that I was just recently in. Judging me and saying all the bad things about you. They even asked me why I didn't choose a girl from my uni. I don't know why, but I got so mad and I told them off, "because only she can make me feel that way!" My parents went silent. I hope that they realize, that you realize that even though we may not have been compatible or suitable for one another, but for a period of time, you were the only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

=) And with a smile, I'll end my post.

昨晚算是我第一次吸毒。不是那种会上瘾的吧。到现在，我从未有那种想再吸的感觉。

但主要点是吸了整个世界会慢了下来。其实吸了会让你思想一切成真。要想什么，关眼睛就会看到了。一片海，满天星星，想见到什么就见到什么。我个人觉得好神奇。

当它开始有效果时，我朋友问我，闭上眼睛第一个看到的是什么。

一闭上眼睛，开始一片黑暗，可是突然间你的脸出现了。那充满笑容的脸孔，那么美丽的，仿佛见到真人在面前。手一伸出去感觉好像可以摸到你的脸似的。

“没有见到什么。。。” 我骗我朋友。

“无所谓，现在就想像你在一个沙滩，望着无角的海。” 我朋友告诉我。

不需要想太多，海就出现在我眼前。海潮不断往着我冲过来。可是在我完全遗失了我自己那一刻，你就出现在我旁边，紧握着我手，仿佛避免我在深入下去。就那样，你我作者在沙滩，望着日落，那么美丽，那么温柔。躺在我肩膀的你。若时间能停留就好了。那么美丽的一刹那，若能永远保持就好了。

过了一阵子，我睁开了眼睛，梦境就消失了。眼睛里的水管仿佛裂了，开始漏水。

还好大家都还陷入这在他们的梦境里，没发现我弄干眼泪。

好啦，本来想回去之前那甜蜜的感觉。始终没有，脑海不断地飘，就再也没法飘到有你的梦境里。算太可惜了吧。但总有那么一次就好啦。

=)